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Do you frequently struggle with resentment and hatred as a caregiver? Although dealing with these feelings might be difficult, you are not the only one who feels these things. According to a 2020 Carewell poll, 64% of carers have depressive symptoms, 70% see changes in their relationships with friends and family, and 85% give up their hobbies and other interests as a result of being a caretaker.
It's common to experience a variety of emotions when providing round-the-clock care, but it's crucial to pay attention if despair, rage, or resentment are among them. Although these emotions are entirely natural, they might alter your behavior and relationships, which can compromise the standard of care.
Understanding the distinction between anger and resentment, their root causes, and the actions you can take to better control them can help you make good changes.
The article provides a guide on how to deal with caregiver anger and resentment.
Even though they are typically experienced simultaneously, rage and resentment are two distinct emotions.
Anger is described as "a strong sense of dissatisfaction, discontent, or animosity" in the Oxford English Dictionary. It frequently is a quick response brought on by an upsetting or distressing incident or circumstance.
Resentment is more complicated since it develops gradually and combines a number of feelings, including fear, rage, and grief. It's an accumulation of unpleasant or disappointing sentiments from the past that make it challenging to stay in the present rather than a reaction to a particular incident or circumstance.
It's simple to alternate between these two feelings when you're a caretaker. If a loved one had an accident after you spent time and effort escorting them to the restroom, for instance, you can become upset. The fact that their care consumes every waking hour may cause you to feel bitter at the same time.
Understanding the root of your anger and/or resentment will help you not only deal with those emotions now but also start making adjustments going future.
It's crucial to identify the cause of your bad feelings in order to keep them from interfering with your parenting duties. Here is a little workout you can do at home to get you started:
With a notepad and a writing instrument in hand, set a timer for 15 minutes and take a seat. Consider taking a few deep breaths, closing your eyes, and genuinely examining your feelings.
Do you feel worn out and overworked? Underappreciated? Are you upset because you lost freedom or time? There are no correct or incorrect responses. Whatever comes to mind, no matter how foolish or unimportant it may appear, write it down. Review whatever you wrote when the allotted time has passed.
There are no easy solutions for challenging caring feelings. There are highs and lows in the work, and it takes practice to change your mentality. Nevertheless, there are a number of things you may do to simplify things.
The act of showing yourself love and forgiveness when you feel unworthy or are going through a difficult time is known as self-compassion.
Start by practicing just one of these self-compassion techniques. Even if you feel like you don't have enough time, set aside 5 minutes to care for yourself. Additionally, there are a lot of therapists that focus on supporting caregivers. It may be very beneficial for your self-care if you have a space and time set apart to help you process all of the various feelings that come with being a caregiver.
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